How long has it been since I've came back to keep you company ? It was mom's words that rang in my head over and over each day. "Keep your father company as he is old and he needs your attention more than ever". It was those
words too that made me gave up everything I have dreamed of becoming and all those hopes I had for my own future, just to make you happy, by altering the course in my life, your WAY !!!
I'm sorry sometimes I
need a moment for myself where I am actually doing things that make me happy, no matter if it's only for a brief moment, WHICH most often times, you would disagree on.I'm sorry if sometimes I am too numb from all your rantings on how I should live my life the way YOU want it, that I forget to listen.
I'm sorry if sometimes my eyes are too tired of having to keep up with the directions to your demands and needs that I just shut them and let them, my
sorrow passes by.
I'm sorry that sometimes I lose my way around you that I don't seem to be digesting and understanding to your every harsh remarks and threats.
I'm sorry that all I have given up for YOUR happiness' sake, I am still as useless as you'd like to think I am.
I'm sorry that despite all my hundreds of percent of effort still fail to make you live a life, the way you wanted it, the way it makes you happy, in every way i
t should have been.
Dad,
I'm at the end of the alley where my path is just blocked by a thick wall, thicker than the Great Walls Of China and what seem to be higher than
the Empire State Building of NY.
I am close to becoming a schizo due to my self consoling all the time.
Do you know that ? I bet you don't because you just don't give a damn.
Dad,
I'm so sorry if one of these days, the resorts to the ends of my depressing life shall be the ones most parents would fear their
children of committing. But put it this way, I would really do you a favor by then. No more anger, no more disappointment and never again, a day where you have to guide me, YOUR way.
